You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
