i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize