I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
