You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
