two words: eviction party
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
