I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
