Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
