i will never coherently bang her
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
