when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
