i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My dick has a subreddit
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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