You work out of a Hotel?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize