You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
