I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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