My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
