I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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