so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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