there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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