dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
