didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
