youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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