Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
