just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
