Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
