Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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