I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
