my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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