i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
