You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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