There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
