how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
