Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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