The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
