oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
