I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
