hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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