i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
