When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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