dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
