I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
