I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
