It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
