Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
