i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
