i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize