I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
