as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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