i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
