oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
