Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
