Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i drank out of a bidet.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need to sanitize my soul.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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