Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
