do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
