Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
