I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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