He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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