Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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