I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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