Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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