He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
