I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
