My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
