he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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