Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
