i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
